“City council has already cut our funding. It’s up to us to restore the Baywatch brand,” says Rob Huebel near the beginning of the first trailer for the upcoming Baywatch movie, thus beginning the explanation of its flimsy setup. To convince the city council that beaches need lifeguards, Dwayne The Rock Johnson’s head lifeguard character hires Zac Efron’s Lochte-like gold medalist character to be their sexy new recruit... I guess?

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I’m don’t entirely understand how a department strapped for cash could afford to hire an Olympian, nor do I get why they seem to think “more lifeguards = more people needing to be saved from drowning,” but these are not questions that should be asked of a movie like this. Baywatch is clearly riding on the success of another ’90s TV show-turned-big budget summer flick—mimicking both its stunt casting and the strained self-awareness of its comedy—but I’m not convinced.