Rita Ora and Katy Perry images via AP; all other images via Getty.

The Brits Awards, which are like the UK’s Grammys but less wack, occurred tonight (/today) and practically everyone was wearing something extremely shiny, or a pantsuit, or both. What an interesting, fun development! London Fashion Week just ended, but these cool celebrities took the style energy into next week, amirite! Something-something a television red carpet host would say.

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LET’S SEE WHAT THESE MUHFUCKAS ARE WEARING.

Charli XCX went for an ‘80s party-girl taffeta in plum, which so suits her; have you all noticed that, with the help of Vivienne Westwood (who designed this and lots of her red carpet looks) her event style is really advancing away from the candi raver zone and settling into a very studied elegance, while still being a little bit wacky? Our girl is growing up! Speaking of wacky, Katy Perry went for a beaded Atelier Versace with a blazer, a topknot and um, is that a tattoo choker? I don’t know, guys!

Pixie Lott got witchy in a fringed space dress, while America’s Next Top Model host Rita Ora brought some of that L.A. carpet swag back to Londontowne in a pretty olive Alexander Vauthier.

There’s such a vibrancy here we don’t normally get in the States, even at music events. For instance, Anne-Marie, who makes good pop music in the clubbier sphere, went for that feathered-stiletto jam you can normally find in the club, but then had a little fun with old-Hollywood style in a faux-fur turquoise shrug. Fashion model Eliza Cummings repped her hometown in an emerald Giles Deacon that has her looking like a cartoon Victorian princess, while Clean Bandit’s Grace Chatto went full seapunk with a sweetheart neckline. Mollie King flipped the party-dress style by pairing it with a fun, muppet-esque stole that’s like, half the size of her body.

Little Mix are out here proving to Fourth Harm how hard it is to coordinate your looks when you’re in a pop quartet, and the answer is: don’t even try. Leigh-Anne is out here in full-on House of Dereon denim realness.

Billie JD Porter is doing a sort of update on ‘90s grunge boudoir, and I like it almost as much as I LOVE model Charlotte Wiggins’s almost-iridescent blue velvet gown. BBC presenter Clara Amfo has the right idea for a fun night out on the town—periwinkle leather! I die!—while Kyla (of “Do You Mind”/ “One Dance” fame) kept it business casj in black.

Still, it was one of those historical NIGHT EVENTS, so basic black had to do some of the time. Clara Paget gave hers a bit of an edge with a moto jacket, while Ellie Goulding’s came in the form of chain link cutouts and Zara Larsson went the embellishment route. Nicole Scherzinger, who was at the Brits because ???, put on her best Vanity impression in an ‘80s-style “sexy blazer.”

Alice Levine is looking so much like Joan Holloway if she were a Givenchy devotee, and Lianne La Havas is dynamite in her own little floral garden. Both Nao and Renee Stewart (Rod’s daught!) are so sweet in matching separates, which can never really go wrong though it might be fun if they each swapped a garment.

These people are in a band called Biffy Clyro and that wizard is wearing a cape.

Abbey Clancy proves you don’t ever have to just go with one look, and Lilah Parsons just went with the easy-peasy cape dress. Ray BLK’s full Kenzo look is giving me the early ‘00s vapors and I fear how right it all feels. Am I gonna start dressing like Christina Aguilera? That remains to be seen. Raye kept it cute in a litttle two-piece, though I fear she might trip on that gingham strap. Raye, don’t trip.

Rag‘n’Bone Man wore matching suits and Fenty Pumas! Cute. Alesha Dixon’s gown is simple, fresh and fun, though I’m not totally sold on Azuka Ononye’s white tux. I am, however, very much feeling Kano’s forest-green look, and surprised to see Stormzy in something that is not Adidas. By the way, Stormzy lost the Breakthrough Act award to Rag‘n’Bone Man because British music establishment people seem to love fake Americana and hate their own homegrown grime. Such haters! Don’t worry Stormzy, we got love for you in New York.

Pants! Did you know pants means “wack” in British slang? It does, look it up. These pants are good, though; Dua Lipa and Imelda May wore traditional tuxes, while Heloise Letessier put hers in a sling. Laura Jackson’s pewter lamé ensemble is the best New Year’s Eve ensemble you could conjure, and pretty natty for this night, too.

There’s sleek, like Michelle Keegan’s royal-blue jumpsuit and Neelam Gill’s excellent black off-the-shoulder look; and then there’s embellished, like Myleene Klass’s pretty rose crown and ruffles, and the fact that Louisa Johnson is wearing FUCKING FEATHER DUSTERS ON HER HEM. DO YOU, LOUISA!

I just learned from Wikipedia that Holly Hagan is from the most English-sounding place ever (Thornaby-on-Tees) and is on the UK version of Jersey Shore (also very English-sounding: Geordie Shore). All that said, she looks like she’s shooting a commercial for DeBeers diamonds or something, looking good! Supermodel Natalia Vodianova is being engulfed by a very enthusiastic pink bird and I fear for her safety, while Talia Storm is going ham on the Gucci tip, but aren’t we all? Aren’t we all. Now please enjoy this Ed Sheeran collabo with Stormzy.