Long week, though it’s only Wednesday—right? Long month, in general? Long year, I think. In times like these one must turn to the Scriptures, and here’s the King James Bible Philippians 4:8:

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

I’m nothing if not an expert on exegesis, and I do believe God was talking about CL.

CL is a crossover Korean pop star from the girl group 2NE1, who supposedly wrote “Dr. Pepper” after Diplo flaked on her recording session and has just released an extremely Whatsoever Things Are Dank As Hell video for her vapidly amazing, flossy new single “Hello Bitches.”

The video is a collaboration with 23-year-old choreographer of the moment Parris Goebel, whose “polyswagg” style and tremendous eye for stage direction came to national attention in the equally iconic video for “Sorry.” Goebel’s all-girl ReQuest Dance Crew also features heavily in this video—lucky us, as they’re magic:

Goebel’s choreography is so playful:

And the staging is so sharp:

It’s very auspicious for CL that she’s not outshined by this crew:

I’d let this choreography murder me if it wanted to, but it wants me to feel alive:

The visual effects go from “subtle”:

To perfectly not:

CL is low-key super funny, and you can tell in the way she shifts her expressions, as in here with the ass-patting:

Or here with the mic:

But, like, I wouldn’t get too comfortable:

For these things, Lord, we give thanks.


Contact the author at jia@jezebel.com.