A lot is happening in Jessie J’s video for her Pitch Perfect tie-in “Flashlight,” but I can’t tell you what any of it means.

It starts with Jessie J twirling wistfully around the quad of Pitch Perfect’s fictional Barden University while wearing a pair of leather overall shorts.

Everyone has just graduated, including this young man who gets into a fight and ~possibly~ breaks up with his girlfriend. Neither are dressed appropriately for graduation. In fact, no one in this video is dressed appropriately for graduation.

Does no one see Jessie J? Is she a ghost? No one, not even Jessie J, can say.

Newly heartbroken, this male model pretending to be a college student accidentally knocks the books out of some nerd’s hands. He is nice about it and helps to pick them up. This doesn’t come up again.

Here are some people.

Many students point their flashlights at Jessie J and she is illuminated. Note: this song becomes much better when you replace the word “flashlight” with “fleshlight.”

Jessie J, a guardian angel, comforts the model and gives him a flower.

He reunites with his girlfriend and gives the flower to her as Jessie J creeps. Nice re-gift, dude.

All of this is interspersed with random footage from the Pitch Perfect 2 trailer.

Okie dokie.


Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com.