Justin Bieber Is Begging Seth Rogen to Roast Him

Justin Bieber is scheduled to be roasted by Comedy Central on March 30th. This should be a joyous time in his life. He just turned 21 years old, he’s finally grown into his head and a bunch of famous people are going to talk shit about him on national television so he can pretend to be self-aware.

But that’s simply isn’t enough for Canada’s little prince. Justin Bieber, it seems, really wants Seth Rogen to participate in his roast but Seth keeps ignoring his phone calls. Naturally, Justin figured a series of thirsty-ass tweet directed at Seth was the perfect way to handle this bump in the road.

Seth Rogen probably doesn’t want to participate in the Justin Bieber roast because Seth Rogen thinks Justin Bieber is a “piece of shit.”

Now, if somebody publicly called me a piece of shit, a motherfucker and a dick, I most likely would not beg them for favors on Twitter. However, I have dignity.

Justin apparently cannot take a fucking hint because he crafted a special hashtag to win Seth’s affections that struck the perfect balance of narcissism and desperation.

And finally, for the pièce de résistance, Bieber decided to link to one of his own songs—a collaboration with Diplo and Skrillex, no less—to really drive home the whole “stalker ex-lover” theme.

Poor Justin. I hope he gives this up.

The worst part is that Justin probably thinks he’s just being super cool about things. Yeah, Seth Rogan probably hates him, but he’s just such a chill, super mature type of bro that he wants Seth to come because it’ll be really fun, ya know?

Even if Justin’s shamelessness works, I don’t think this is going to end the way he thinks it will. All I’m saying is, if I have to beg somebody who already doesn’t like me to roast me, I would worry that their roast would turn into a forest fire.