Illustration by Angelica Alzona/GMG

It is day two of our quest to figure out what mythical creature will overtake mermaid as the reigning queen of beauty!

Here are the results from last Friday’s poll:

  • Snakes (16) beat Cyclops (1) by 71.48% because y’all are a bunch of SSSSWIFTIES
  • Fairy (1) beat Smurfette (16) by a whopping 86.56% which doesn’t surprise us but, hey, we wanted you to have options
  • So this was close: Baba Yaga (1) ultimately beat Mothwoman (16) by 56.74%. We’re sorry, Mothwoman stans.
  • And you definitely preferred the Cyborg (1) (73.02%) to the Ground Hog (16)!

But we aren’t even CLOSE to being done. We have way more freaks and scaly creatures for you to vote for.

We’re going to start off by finishing off the Creature Division!

Okay, this one is hard. Hippocamp (8) is a big seahorse, the perfect pick for horse girls who love mermaids. And a Kelpie (9) is also a water spirit that’s a horse... that can turn into humans. Basically, are you full water horse, or are you a water horse who can sometimes be a human?

Succubi (5) are hot female demons who seduce men while they dream which seems, like, self-explanatory when it comes to wicked beauty looks. Hot. Demon. And a Hydra (12) is a dragon with a bunch of heads. How that translates to beauty is elusive to us BUT it’s still cool, no?

A Chupucabra (4) is sort of a hairless dog that eats goats for fun so it’s perfect for those who think fur, or hair in general, is overrated. Get ready to shave your eyebrows off! And Fiona the Hippo (13) is just begging for a MAC collab, right?

The Sphinx (6), which has the head of a human and body of a lion, already has a lot going for it as it has a lot of art history behind it. But we also envision a lot of weird, scale-textured beauty techniques tied to Cthulu (11) which was invented by writer HP Lovecraft, and has the head of an octopus with a scaly body and claws.

With Chimera (3) we’re talking about a mythological creature that looks like a lion with a goat rising out of its back, so it’s a lot of look. Oh, and you breathe fire. And that’s squaring off against the Narwhal (14), the weird “unicorn of the sea.”

Selkies (7) live as seals in the ocean, but then turn into humans when they get to land and a Kraken (10) is, literally, a giant squid. We can just see the tentacle brush sets now.

We have the Harpy (2), who is half-bird, half-woman, so what more could you want? Bird beauty is promising. But Totoro (15), from Hayao Miyazaki’s movie My Neighbor Totoro, is basically already famous so... tough competition.

And now we’re going to complete the Fairy Tale Division, so hold onto your butts.

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An Ogre (8) is essentially Shrek and its natural pallor is already Pantone’s color of the year, so you’d be ahead of the curve without having to do much. Satyrs (9) are party animals with a great outlook on life, but they present some styling concerns, as having goat legs on the bottom half makes it difficult to find pants, skirts, etc.

Surely you know what a Giant (5) is, but if you don’t, let me paint a very clear picture: you’re you, but really tall, and if you find clothing that fits your very specific proportions, you’re going to look great. Leprechauns (12) on the other hand appear to only wear green velvet, which is really only easy to pull off if you’re a Spring or a ginger Autumn.

For Elves (4), think Cate Blanchett in Lord of the Rings and not Keebler, but remember that in either iteration, your ears are pointy and if Santa finds you, you will be sworn to a life of indentured servitude. As an Ugly Duckling (13), being a hideous baby bird would present an unusual challenge to beauty YouTubers and clothing brands alike.

Sirens (6) are like goth mermaids with good singing voices, but they’re technically murderers. A Hag (11) is fun because it’s really two looks in one—old, wizened woman on the outside and beautiful goddESS on the inside.

For Troll (3), we’re talking bridge-adjacent creatures and not the toys that kind of look like the Olsen twins and sometimes have jewels in their bellies. The Frog Princess (14) is a frog, but I suspect there’s an untapped beauty market in products targeted to curb excessive sliminess.

Regular Princesses (7) wear crowns, live in castles and offer the most potential for a beauty trend, but are genuinely boring. If you’re a Gingerbread Woman (10), you run the risk of being too Christmas-specific, but as an anthropomorphic cookie, you can change your look as easily as squeezing a tube of icing down your front to make buttons.

Nymphs (2) might have an edge already because we’re envisioning their look as Glossier. Thumbelina (15) is a regular person, but very tiny and born of a flower and magic; we’re seeing a potential floral MAC collection in the future, which is fun!

What a journey this has been and we have only just begun. Please vote and join us again tomorrow to vote for the best monsters and your favorite lovable randos!

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