Perhaps it’s common knowledge among rabid fans of Star Wars and its ever-expanding universe, but we at Jezebel only recently found out that Oscar winner Lupita Nyong’o would be playing a tiny, mostly-CGI, 1000-year-old, goggle-wearing alien pirate named Maz Kanata in the newest installment of the series.

On Wookiepedia (which our friends at io9 inform is us a trustworthy source for this kind of thing), they write:

Maz Kanata was a female pirate. She lived for over one thousand years and her eyes, covered with goggles, held a special power. Around thirty years after the Battle of Endor, she owned a castle which played host to travelers, smugglers and other riff raff.

Here’s a clearer shot of Kanata from a recent trailer:

That’s Lupita Nyong’o. Right there. On the left. The little orange alien. In the goggles. With the shocked look on her face. If you are capable of dealing with this revelation, congratulations, because we sure weren’t.

Please enjoy some jokes we made with each other earlier today:

when u just start rolling and ur friend spot u across the club:

when u wake up and u still maz:

when the battle of endor is over n the riff raff is like can i stay with u for a bit:

when u walk into tuesday morning and spot the new shit

when u find out lupita gonna play u in a biopic:

when a dude rubs up on u in the club n then is all apologetic like o sorry miss

Whoops. :(


Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

Image via Lucasfilm. Cool-ass memes via Bobby Finger, Emma Carmichael, and Jia Tolentino.