You know that scene in Gone Girl (the movie) where Rosamund Pike—reading from her fake diary—says in that angry, breathy voice of hers, “This...man...may...truly...kill me”? When I watched the trailer for the mega-hyped sci-fi action romance Passengers, I stared at the screen as it ended and thought, “This...movie...may...truly...kill me.”

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But much like Gone Girl’s Amazing Amy, there’s no actual fear of death here. Just pure, unadulterated anger and resentment over the fact that a studio spent $120 million dollars on a movie about “a writer from New York who’s interested in cosmic travel” named Aurora Dunn (Jennifer Lawrence) who falls in love with “a mechanic who wants to leave Earth” named Jim Preston (Chris Pratt) when their hibernation pods break 30 years into a 120-year journey to a distant planet.

Maybe I’m wrong (because what do I know about anything) but this movie looks like it has been re-written and re-shot to within an inch of its life as a way of appealing to as many moviegoing demographics as humanly possible. They’re trying to get families during the holidays and first dates and action lovers and sci-fi nerds and JLaw-loving moms and dads and Chris Pratt-loving millennials and the result appears to be a mess with no actual heart or imagination that will almost certainly make a shitload of money.

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I hate Passengers!!!!