Sad Dancing With the Stars Diaries is a new series in which we imagine the innermost feelings of Dancing With the Stars contestants, as written in their “journals.”

Diary, this is bullshit.

Y’all know it’s me Kim, and I gotta say, Diary, I just cannot believe how I am being treated on this program. I had a mini-stroke last week and now these producers are telling me I’m kicked off the show? I was polite about it on Monday but the rings are comin’ off. I am a woman. I have six children. There is an elevator in my home, and they are sayin’ I can’t compete in this dance competition? I mean do they know who I am? Do they know who my husband is? He is Kroy Biermann, Atlanta Falcons defensive end.

Okay, Diary, I was too riled up just then. But I am sad :(. I am a strong woman and I am not gonna let a medical emergency keep me from my calling, the stage. That’s why I am askin’ my fans to retweet me and help me get back to my partner Tony (@TonyDovolani) back to compete for the title of Best Star Dancer.

They did that nasty stunt on Monday night where they had me get all dressed up and call into the show, like I was gonna get a present or say ‘Hi’ or something. But no, asshole Tom Bergeron said I can’t come back even though I learned that whole dance and wasn’t there just cuz I just couldn’t fly to LA. And I tried not to cry, diary, but I couldn’t stop the tears...

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And did you see how smug Alfosno Ribeiro was when I was kicked off? Look at him staring straight into the camera.

I am crying now. People can be so cruel and I don’t understand why. Like Wendy Williams thought I was faking? Why would I fake? I get Gary or Victor or, I don’t know, Paula fakin’ because they are not gifted. Anyway, right now I am really hopin’ for a miracle. Maybe for the lawyers to see that I am a good person deserving of a second chance.

XOXO,

Kim (Zolciak-Biermann LOL)


Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.