Spoilers for the fifth season of Homeland follow. This should have been obvious.

The predictably tense finale to Homeland’s best season since its first aired last night, and the episode was filled more than enough surprising and satisfying moments of closure to fill Carrie’s messenger bag. Our girl is out of the CIA for good (probably), she very likely took the (second) love of her life off life support after being dumped by German Aidan Shaw, Laura ditched her ideals and sold out to the Germans on live TV, and the show’s most deliciously hatable villain ever, Allison, was taken out in a barrage of Bonnie & Clyde-like gunfire ordered by Saul. The only real cliffhanger was an out-of-the-blue proposal by Otto, Carrie’s billionaire boss.

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So where will the show, which was just renewed for a sixth season, go next? Will it stay on trend and jump ahead in time once again? Will she return to America to be with her daughter? Will Allison come back from the dead thanks to some sort of Walking Dead-like twist and seek revenge on Saul and the rest of the CIA?

We have a few ideas.

  • Carrie rejects Otto, moves back to America, gets a job at Lululemon, and becomes a dedicated single mother.
  • Carrie agrees to marry Otto, becomes a German lady who lunches, and then wants to die.
  • Allison’s evil twin (Miranda Otto in a different wig) comes back to avenge Saul for slaughtering her sister.
  • Jonas, now incredibly salty, sabotages the Düring Foundation because of the lost love that technically he said no to.
  • Carrie and her daughter move to Tuscany, where they buy a run-down villa and renovate it with the help of friendly locals.
  • Carrie and her daughter move to northern England, where they buy a run-down castle and renovate it with the help of friendly locals.
  • Carrie and her daughter move to Spain, where they buy a run-down bungalow and renovate it with the help of friendly locals.
  • Carrie and her daughter move to Savannah, GA, where they buy a run-down home, renovate it with the help of friendly locals, and rent out rooms through Airbnb.
  • Carrie and her daughter move to NYC, where she takes jazz drumming lessons from J.K. Simmons. He pushes over the edge. Frannie is distraught.
  • Laura plays nice with the German BND only to run to Russia and join league with Snowden, where they begin a passionate love affair over leaked documents and extradition fights.
  • Saul and Dar end up fighting over a new Quinn that they pluck from an orphanage in Baltimore, and make Carrie train him. She tries to sleep with him, because that’s what she does sometimes.
  • They fail to stop a terrorist attack, and all of humanity literally dies out after global thermonuclear war.


Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.

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Image via screengrab.