In case you missed the 13 million tweets (and probably texts) reminding you, yesterday was 420. For the occasion of the holiday of our lord (Lord von Weedman), one of the world’s most dedicated herbalists announced his candidacy for president. That man is Waka Flocka Flame.

In an interview with Rolling Stone’s Simon Vozick-Levinson, Flocka signs the papers and outlines his platform, some of which is extremely practical and much-needed legislation, such as the legalization of marijuana and the criminalization of bringing dogs into restaurants. (For real, though.) Where we’ll have to grill him, though, once he hits the debate circuit, is women’s rights: he is very respectful of his mother and articulates the need for people to respect women more, but he believes that we already have all the rights.

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Suggestions to alleviate this blind spot in his platform: convene a women’s policy advisory committee comprised of Nicki Minaj, Ana Tijoux, Dej Loaf, Tink, Jean Grae, Junglepussy, Dai Burger, Princess Nokia, Diamond, Rasheeda, Nitty Scott, and grand dames Queen Latifah and MC Lyte for good measure. Or, when running mate DJ Whoo Kid inevitably says something incoherently Bidenesque (ie “Whooooooooooooooooooo”), replace the VP candidate with Trina. I think this can really work, to be honest.


Contact the author at julianne@jezebel.com.