Weekly-ish, a pre-approved, snap-judged music guide based on our very scientific, non-subjective Yes/No rating system. There’s really no debating this, come on stop.

N: I must continue to dislike Charlie Puth simply off the strength of the cloying “See You Again” being such a hit. “One Call Away” (something about long distance relationships) is the epitome of faux sentimental auditorium pop and this video hurts me. It’s begging for a kids-choir breakdown at the end. [Idolator]

N: Segue: I heard this remix of Wiz Khalifa’s“See You Again” with Trey Songz before it was removed. Now you can’t hear it and that’s not a bad thing. [Rap-Up]

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Y: FXWRK describes her collaborations with Kilbourne as “dripping with feels and emotional resonance” and that sounds so perfect. The stammered echoes on “Bang” in particular are magnetic. [Fact-Mag]

Y: On “Automatic,” AlunaGeorge manages to not get her floaty voice lost in the walls of ZHU’s rollicking clock ticks, plinks and bone rhythms. It’s all seemingly at odds but also effortless. [Idolator]

Y: Joe Jonas is in a band called DNCE that’s not a boy band and this is their single, “Cake by the Ocean,” a spunky dance record that’s already entangled in my brain. Is it weird that I like it? Is it like Bruno Mars and Maroon 5 fornicated? Whatever. Best adlib: “Fucking delicious.” [Billboard]

Y: This Tink video takes place in a strip club. [Fader]

N: This week in bad decision-making, someone let Sanaa Lathan record a track about “emotional niggas” with Dej Loaf. Had it been Dej’s song alone, this could’ve worked because the beat has a tough pulse to it. But Sanaa sounds like she’s almost about to sing somewhat well. [Rap-Up]

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Y: I’m okay with Sam Smith’s version of “Hotline Bling” because he’s the perfect bereaved soul to inhabit this song. [Idolator]

Y: Stromae’s “Quant C’est” (which translates to “When Is It?”) is a song that, he says, “explores the pain caused and inevitable fear of cancer.” The video is a great dramatic interpretation of death and there’s a moment when the body’s silhouette droops and its soul gets lifted into the heavens. It’s visually striking. [Spin]

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N: Christina Milian’s “Do It” starts off with a decent snap, but then she does that AutoTune sex kitten bedroom voice thing and something about her songs lately reek of desperation. Also, this line: “Baby I don’t usually do this/ Usually a virtuous woman.” [YBF]

Y: Desert. Old Man in a chair. Hypnosis. Dystopia! Disclosure. [Idolator]

N: Halsey covered my favorite song right now, Bieber’s “What Do You Mean?” and I want to like it but can’t say I’m that impressed. She’s got a cooler, raspier tone than Biebs but the pitch is off. The second half of the mashup, Weeknd’s “Often,” isn’t much better. [Billboard]


Contact the author at clover@jezebel.com.