5SOS Pens a Beautifully Sexist Ode to a Bitchy GF, Fights The Man

5 Seconds of Summer, also known as 5SOS, the band from down under who brought you THE song of last summer, is back with a new jam, a song about a girl who pretty much sucks, but luckily, she’s really really hot. Oh and also, grown-ups are oppressing us.


The song begins thusly, a screeching refrain that sounds like The Offspring-lite:

My girlfriend’s bitchin’ cause I always sleep in

She’s always screaming when she’s calling her friends

She’s kinda hot though

Yeah she’s kinda hot though

My shrink is telling me I’ve got crazy dreams

She’s also saying I’ve got low self-esteem

She’s kinda hot though

Yeah she’s kinda hot though

Oh! But wait! The song isn’t really about a shitty GF and a therapist who is Too Real, but about how the adults and Debbie-Downers are oppressing the youth in every possible way.

My friend left college cause it felt like a job

His mum and dad both think he’s a slob

He’s got a shot though

Yeah, he’s got a shot though

When you’ve got bigger plans

That no one else understands

You’ve got a shot though

5SOS continues:

They say we’re losers but we’re all alright with that

We’re all believers that they’re not coming back

But we’re alright though

Yeah we’re alright though

We are the kings and the queens of the new broken scene

Yeah we’re alright though

“Our boys are starting a new era,” one of their fans wrote on Vine before this track was released. Sweetie, I lived through the early aughts, suffering under the burden of bands like Mest and Good Charlotte. This is the same old era all over again.

Contact the author at dries@jezebel.com.


Written by one of the brothers from Good Charlotte, who is surprised