After 437 Years, Idris Elba Might Finally Play James Bond.........Maybe

Illustration for article titled After 437 Years, Idris Elba Might Finally Play James Bond.........Maybe
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Hello. It’s me. The old woman. In my home. Come. Sit. Let me tell you a story.

There once was a young girl. She was all right. She was reading jezebel dot com—also all right. The year? 1837. The article? “Idris Elba Should Be James Bond.” Her spirits were high, and her hopes were up as she imagined a Bond movie with the British actor.


“Surely, this will happen,” she said, as she twined some hog fat ‘round an apple core doll. “It has to… It just makes…sense…”

That girl died. Too much hay. But now, hundred(s?) of years later, her wishes might just come true.


Training Day director Antoine Fuqua told The Daily Star that James Bond series producer Barbara Broccoli thinks that “it is time” for a man of color to play 007 and that she’s sure “it will happen eventually.” Fuqua agreed, telling the Star that “Idris could do it if he was in shape. You need a guy with physically strong presence. Idris has that.”

Barbara Broccoli, who is NOT a fake girlfriend Fuqua made up to impress a friend he ran into at Just Salad, has not confirmed that she said any of this, CNN reports. Nor has Idris Elba, who once said that playing Bond “would be such an honor.” So perhaps none of this is true, but, on the other hand, perhaps it is...

When will this ongoing national conversation about Idris Elba playing James Bond translate to Idris Elba playing James Bond? We may never know. And what of the young girl, you ask? She didn’t die actually. For, you see…that young girl…………was me. The old woman. It was me the whole time. A wonderful conceit.

Contributor, Jezebel

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I’ll choose Door number two, where the entire Bond franchise fades into history along with whale-bone corsets and VCR’s, and Idris Elba gets to play a character that isn’t steeped in a legacy of misogyny. Maybe a spy that doesn’t think about women as props? Could that be a thing?!?