Screenshot: Bravo

The trailer for the new season of Real Housewives of New York is here and boy does it make me want to begin Turtle Time right now on a *squints at laptop* uh, Tuesday morning?

The housewives are, to quote themselves, all together “insufferable,” “insecure,” “sicko,” “miserable,” and, I can not stress this enough, “fucking miserable.” Carole Radziwill is now off the show, assumedly because she got sick of explaining why Trump is bad to the rest of the cast, but the ladies are getting along just fine: Ramona loves hot sex, Dorinda is lightly threatening some folks, and the Countess is a cabaret star! It also appears Jill Zarin hath returned to the series, though she reportedly won’t be a full-time cast member.


The housewives also make their way to Miami for a relaxing little vacation, where it looks like Bethenny revives her signature Real Housewives catchphrase: screaming her head off telling someone to “GO TO SLEEP!” In this instance, it appears to be an extremely drunk Sonja Morgan.

Some things never change!