Boring Man, Shockingly, Writes Boring Music Profile

Illustration for article titled Boring Man, Shockingly, Writes Boring Music Profile

Another day, another troll: today a boring man was allowed to publish a think piece about not-boring musician Sky Ferreira that began by discussing her “killer tits,” as seen on her last album cover, and comparing her cup size to Madonna’s (in a deeply uninspired collation he carried out ‘til the very end).


In doing so, he positions himself as woke—look at me supporting a woman’s sexual liberation!—and also intellectual, making the very stupid observation/justification for his boring and very predictable writing by preemptively deflating any of his detractors, somewhat defensively informing us that we are naive:

America’s already established that Ferreira looks like a lot like Madonna (there’s a V magazine spread based on this concept), but we almost never have the audacity to admit that her looks —specifically, her Madonna-ness — is her most direct appeal to the American consumer. But to pretend like looks don’t matter in pop music is ridiculous. Looks matter; they will always matter. This is pop music, a genre firmly grounded in the aesthetic of ‘80s magazine cutouts and Calvin Klein adverts.

Wow, what truly astounding insight. Then there’s basically a Wikipedia’d rundown of her accomplishments in the same vaguely defensive tone, barely any mentions of her music, and plenty more comparisons to other women musicians, all of which betrays a lack of imagination. This will come as no shock to you, the reader, because it is all, again, boring and very predictable. We’ve read this same piece a trillion times before, in ‘80s magazines (and ‘70s magazines, and ‘60s magazines), wherein the writer wants us to feel shocked by his boner (so special) and that he is “gritty” and “frank” about it. I’m not even mad at it because I’m so over it; if I’m riled up in any way it’s because the writing is, technically and critically, mediocre.

After all that, the publication which published this piece, LA Weekly, tweeted the above. Go read it if you want; or don’t. I don’t care.



“What Slash is to guitar, sky ferreira is to looking hot”

Sloppy af?