Screenshot: Vh1

Is improv harder than drag? Are they actually the same sort of thing? Should every week be like last week—a sewing challenge with 33 runway looks and the sweet peace that comes from just watching drag queens walking down a runway in beautiful gowns? Is it strange that I’d actually consider watching a Ross Mathews talk show in the style of Bossy Rossy? This week’s episode raised—then answered—most, if not all of these questions!

A note: These mini challenges feel very uninspiring because the clear and superior mini challenges are when the library is open and then, later, when they get to mock each other again, but with puppets. Though the Vixen won the mini challenge this week, Kameron Michaels deserves special mention for doing those pushups with the handclaps in between that seem very stressful to perform safely. This week’s maxi challenge is an improv challenge—a fun twist—and is alternately horrifying and entertaining. As guests on Bossy Rossy, a Jerry Springer-adjacent talk show hosted by Ross Mathews in glasses that I presume are in homage to Sally Jesse Raphael, the queens—paired up, shadily, by the Vixen—assumed characters, walked out on the stage and winged it.

For their characters, Asia and the Vixen had a plan so devilish and purely stupid in the best way that I was convinced they would really do it up. I am sad to say that I was disappointed. Their original storyline about one drag queen and another who’s obsessed with her to the point of imitation is basically the story of Miz Cracker and Aquaria: Fantastic in concept and muddled in execution. Unfortunately, Asia and the Vixen weren’t great and (of course!) the Vixen threw Asia under the bus during judging. Her tenacity and bare ambition are appreciated, but I need her to step it up in the challenges. Please! Thank you.

However, Vixen’s petty pairing of Eureka and Aquaria bit her in the ass; they killed it as two adult babies fighting over the same man. “I’m shaped like a fat sexy baby already,” Eureka said. “Why not be a legit, grown-ass, fat, sexy baby?”

I mean.
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She came out in a giant pair of briefs and a nude heel looking like a Kewpie doll, all in the name of body positivity. What’s not to love?

Let us proceed. to the runway. Category is: Diamonds and denim, which means everyone got...creative. But the results were strangely just fine, and nothing more! For the most part.

This shoe is not a bad shoe, but it’s not a great one, either.
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Monét X. Change’s denim, spangled, open-faced jumpsuit chap situation confused me at first, grew on me for a second, and then disappointed me once I saw the way the pants hit those shoes. Michelle hated the way the chap-pants flapped in the front and I am sorry to say I agree. Hair looks good, though.

Jessica Simpson, I see you.
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If Jessica Simpson’s brief foray into country music continued past 2009 and into the next decade, achieving Carrie Underwood-esque levels of success, Kameron Michaels in this miniskirt-with-a-train and a breast plate that looks like two flesh colored watermelons would have an excellent career on the Vegas Strip as an impersonator.

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Now we’re getting somewhere.
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Would you believe that a denim mermaid gown stoned within an inch of its life would be something that isn’t a complete disaster? The Vixen’s insane denim garment actually looks like what Guess? would do if they did couture and, improbably, it’s a freaking knockout!! Michelle said she should cinch her waist, which would’ve made the shape more dramatique—fine, but Michelle’s one-woman campaign against hog bodies is tiresome. Open your mind, Visage!

Fringe!
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In motion, Asia O’Hara’s fringed-and-shattered, bleach splattered, duster/epaulette/leotard but make it fashion ensemble was fun as hell. The movement! The sparkle! This white eyeshadow situation! I love.

A look.
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Here is Aquaria in a denim figure-skating costume with stones all over, a big hat, and a good fan. Special attention must be paid to her boots, which match the dress and, thankfully, aren’t a pair of bad platform pumps!!

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Like a sofa, but not rude.
Screenshot: VH1

Eureka was going to nail this like she does almost every single runway that she’s done thus far—even if the look isn’t the best, it’s cohesive, specific, and not too conceptual. Her drag is deeply satisfying—how the jumpsuit and the wig exist so perfectly together with that particular dusty, weird, mauve lip! A winner, baby.

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Perhaps there was simply not that much to get here, but Blair St. Clair’s outfit is confusing, as is that enormous hair bow that toes the fine line between fancy Victorian child and quirky debutante. Stressful. Safe.

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The journey that Monique’s outfit takes the viewer on makes little to no sense, but somehow, it does not matter. These rhinestoned, thigh high Rihanna boots with the fringe on the side are incredible and I am not nearly as concerned as Michelle was that she didn’t know the difference between giraffe print and brown cow.

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Image: VH1

Had this been bright blue denim instead of bright-as-fuq pink, Mayhem Miller might have been okay; Michelle saw Toddlers and Tiaras which tracks. Let us examine the details: That belt is good, the hat is fun, the stones on the bodice are also pleasant. What if the skirt was longer? What if the sleeves were shorter. Hm. Maybe just a different dress....She’s in the bottom, girl!

This PINK DENIM BUT IT WORKS
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Excuse me, but Miz Cracker looks like a grown up Pippi Longstocking who cut baby bangs because of No Doubt and ships Gwen and Blake, because she’s hoping her idol will follow her heart and go country. It’s amazing, she has buckteeth, I love it!

This lip sync, Monet vs Mayhem, let Monet do what she’s good at, which is just entertaining. “Man, I Feel Like a Woman” is a softball, but performed in front of Shania Twain herself added a lot of pressure. Mayhem was cute, but faced with the prospect of going home after ending up in the bottom for the second time in a row, Monét gave us a wig reveal, shed various layers of clothing, rode an invisible motorcycle, and pulled two cans of spray-on hair color out of somewhere and used them to great effect. She was safe and she deserved it—she’s good. She must keep her inner saboteur at bay.

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