On this week’s episode of Dr. Pimple Popper, we met Ken and Kim. She’s a popaholic, he has a body full of clogged pores to pop. That’s at least part of why their relationship works. This episode aired on Valentine’s Day. There are no coincidences.

This week’s pops, while reliably stomach churning, lacked a certain...well, pop, I guess. I can’t pick out one as the pop of the week, so instead I’ll just run down a few moments of nightmarish glee that only this show can provide.

First up was 17-year-old Taylore of Memphis, Tennessee, who had keloids on her ears that made her look elfin.

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Dr. Lee reported that these were the “cutest” keloids she’d ever seen. And then she proceeded to murder the cuteness by slicing it off Taylore’s ears. Somewhat disconcertingly, Taylore noticed the keloids forming after she took out cartilage piercings she had gotten when she was 15. So, there’s something new to be afraid of.

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Anyway, Taylore’s elfin amputation went fine but for the moment that a tear almost ruined her perfect makeup...on national television!

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Without her keloids, Taylore was able to cut her hair down to a Zhané-esque crop, and start taking steps toward her future career in modeling. The first step was having her sister take pictures of her while she posed excitedly in the midst of falling leaves that she had just tossed in the air. Autum, but make it fashion...and thrilling!

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We also heard from Jose, 37, of Adelanto, California. His cyst was so big he felt like a head was growing out of his head.

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And then there was the aforementioned Ken, 34, of Bay Springs, Mississippi. He described the various bumps all over his body feeling worse than a toothache. Dr. Pimple Popper informed us that Ken needs “a-cyst-ance.” Get it? She’s really ramping up the puns this season. Between those and the trusty food analogies, Dr. Pimple Popper is possibly the most linguistically inventive show on television right now? Maybe ever?

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I should also note that, per my cable company, the title of this episode was “Scared Cyst-less.” Great, that’s just great.

At one point as Dr. PP was extracting, Ken announced that he smelled the contents of what the doctor had just popped. “You’re welcome,” he added.

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Sorry, Ken, I was gagging so hard I forgot to say, “Thanks.”

Pus came out of Ken “like a rubber band,” btw.

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And speaking of what things are like, the food analogies this week included: ice cream, an egg yolk, rotten meat, and cottage cheese.

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Good old cottage cheese. Never gets old...unless its trapped for years under a person’s skin.