Illustration for article titled Dr. Pimple Popper and the Third Testicle That Actually Wasnt

This isn’t what it looks like.

Illustration for article titled Dr. Pimple Popper and the Third Testicle That Actually Wasnt
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No really.

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I promise. It’s not this dude’s ballsac.

“Here it is.” But by “it,” he doesn’t mean his bag of babies. This isn’t gonads. It’s nonads. It’s not bollocks. It’s nollocks.

It’s a nullsac.

This is Ravon, the absolute star of Thursday’s Season 4 premiere of Dr. Pimple Popper. He came on swinging his big lipoma that he’d developed about a year before filming. This show being this show, he was made to illustrate the various ways in which his abnormal growth has impeded his life.

He can’t play basketball without it making a visible imprint on his shorts or—horrors!—possibly grazing another dude.

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Can’t sit comfortably. Nothing. Life gets pretty complicated when you have another sac of somethin’ between your legs.

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This reveal to Dr. Lee had me howling:

“Can I touch it?” she says!!!

She can. She asked this man, “Does this act like a testicle?” Meaning: Does it shrink when it’s cold, or “turn blue?” Just in case you needed something to shake you out of the warm fuzzies of the holiday season, here’s a cold shower of absurdity for your senses. This show. This fucking show. Beautiful.

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They had to put in work to find a comfortable position for amputation!

I couldn’t not see this as a castration the entire time it was happening, so just in case you’re having a hard time believing it, too, here’s Ravon, post-op, handling his lipoma, complete with a “That’s what she said” joke from Dr. PP:

We are three days into the New Year and I dare 2020 to show me something better than this on TV.

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After recovery, Ravon illustrated what being unbound from his nullsac means for his life: He can bounce around on the basketball court and have sex without feeling embarrassed.

Ravon lost what really looked like a ball; now life is one.

There were no food metaphors spoken on this episode. But! I have some on reserve. The fourth episode of last season featured some doozies—hamburger meat, a jellyfish, grape clusters, pizza with the cheese pulled off—in addition to Dr. Pimple Popper musing on her habit of comparing discharge/unwanted fat deposits to culinary wonders (“It’s all organic!” she says!!!). I would have posted this when it aired in August, but at the time, I was away on vacation at my boyfriend’s parents’ house in Colorado and their internet is basically nonexistent, so I couldn’t download/upload video. Then, I would have posted this the following week, except Season 3 of this show finished out with several clip shows featuring footage from old episodes. So I wasn’t going to post about those. There has really been no opportunity to post this but the power of pimple-popping compels me to spread the word, if only for posterity. Dr. Pimple Popper making her job even grosser by invoking food imagery is an endlessly fascinating phenomenon of contemporary pop culture to me; I simply must document it. Like a second scrotum that leapt out of my body one day, I’ve been sitting on this footage for over five months. I hope you enjoy it.

Looking forward to more like this in the new year.

Some Pig. Terrific. Radiant. Humble.

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