Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton meet NY Governor Andrew Cuomo and chef Sandra Lee. Images via AP.

Of course Michelle Obama wore an Italian designer to the State Dinner hosting Italian Prime Minister Matteo Renzi and Agnese Landini—she’s thoughtful like that and she knows what looks good on her, hence perhaps the best formal look we’ve seen on anyone all year.

It was a momentous occasion, the very last State Dinner ever to be hosted under the auspices of President Barack Obama before he turns over the hot seat to either Hillary Clinton, or a walking uncircumcised penis. Recognizing the importance of the evening, muhfuckas put their best threads on and hopefully some personal fragrance, too—though not so much that it smelled like a junior high school dance, we hope. (How people smell: a thing you can’t know from your TV.) Let’s see what everyone donned.

Here’s Gwen’s full look. Wouldn’t really have been my choice but it’s delicate and elegant and there are bigger issues to think about, such as the fact that she maybe sang about breaking up with Gavin Rossdale in the fucking White House.

Chance the Rapper, repping Obama’s hometown Chicago, looks sleek and chic in a full black tux; the tie is such the exact color of his shirt and jacket that it’s almost vantablack. Excellent choices here.

Teresa Angela Grandis, the president of Art4Sport, and paralympic champ Bebe Vio went in contrasting hues; when in doubt, solid black or solid white are the best choices. (To you who argue with white in fall: fuck a season, I say.)

Speaking of which, Rachel Ray’s husband John Cusimano also went black tie for Black Tie, and you know, I love a literal interpretation when it’s fun and/or funny. Rachel’s dress looks like a dish; roasted/zoodled root vegetables?

I also love oceanic hues and Mario Andretti’s socks, which act as a sort of walking business card. Naeem Khan and wife Ranjana Khan both look fantastic, and I am here, contemplating how much I fucked up in life by not marrying a high-end fashion designer. I guess there’s still time. Jessica Seinfeld’s dress is gorgeous; I wish we could see the detailing on the shoulders, but it looks intricate and expensive.

Here’s your guy Mario Batali in an official pinstripe. Wonder if he knows Crocs are hot right now.

He has. We could all learn something from him about fashion, of course: find what you like and stick to it.

Wow, I love Nicoletta Braschi’s sparkle ambition, the crystals on her dressed matched by those to-die-for t-straps. It’s good, again, to see at a formal event a little whimsy not dictated by fake rules of American dressing made up by some unimaginative “stylist” somewhere.

Not too crazy about the shirring and gathering on Kim Taylor’s gown, but the red is stunning on her, and the floral pattern is fresh but sophisticated enough for this kind of event. That’s her husband, James.

Here’s a close-up of FLOTUS’s hem.

FRANK took his mom, Katonya Breaux. She looks amazing in that gown, like an orchid; nobody can be mad at his Vans because they’re clean and he looks great.


Who do you think Clinton will have for her first State Dinner? Katy Perry, probably. That’s fine.