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It’s awards season, yet again, and yet again we are here to prematurely evaluate everyone’s looks on the Emmys red carpet, aka the pre-Oscars. What are the fancy things everyone will be wearing? We shall update you, as ever, in our regular, hot-shit, constantly updating awards show fashion blog. Please, come on in...

Above, Black-ish’s adorable Marsai Martin gets the train on her her icy gown fixed like a true star!

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Carrie Coon looks like sherbet in tulle, while Issa Rae’s cascading crimson is bold and vampish.

Jane Fonda’s gown in fuschia is a true phenomenon. Work that weave, mother! Tessa Thompson’s a rainbow scarab and so far I’m loving these bold choices.

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Cute couples: Anthony Anderson with Alvina Stewart in smart velvet; Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon giving us ‘95 formality in maroon and a choker; William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman in ice blue; consistently slaying red-carpet couple Sterling K. Brown and Ryan Michelle Bathe, who has some of the best formal taste, in a lovely cascading canary flounce.

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Child stars! Aubrey Anderson Simmons is doing a cute schoolgirl look; Jeremy Maguire wears a cape every year and every year I’m more convinced he is a baby vampire; Miles Brown is sharp and adorable and I love that he’s not wearing socks; Millie Bobby Brown is a tulle princess and doesn’t have to hit the carpet with her Stranger Things stars anymore, apparently, because...

...here they are, the tux brigade. Love the purple brocade on Caleb McLaughlin.

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Ajiona Alexus is doing a jumpsuit that is also a gown that is also a leotard? Seems quite conceptual. Anika Noni Rose and Kiernan Shipka both went full-bore with the tulle, while Sofia Vergara’s mermaid gown is one of her preferred shapes and she looks like she is about to get hitched (again).

Silicon Valley’s Amanda Crew is sparkly and minimal, while Anna Chlumsky went further with the Vegas sequins. “Book author” Kristin Cavallari is extremely tasteful and wants you to know it, while McKenzie Westmore, host of my second-favorite reality competition show Face Off, is a gilded statue.

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Ashley Nicole Black’s lace contrast hem is unique and I want to see more detail; Edie Falco went the Issa Rae route with a one-shouldered red; Justina Machado and Rita Moreno, of the great One Day at a Time, kept it conservative and cute; Yvette Nicole Brown is sleek in inky long sleeves.

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This is something a glossy mag would probably call a color story. Angela Sarafyan is like butter in this bell-sleeve look, and also is a painful reminder that Westworld isn’t coming back for like, 100 years. Deon Cole’s plaid tux is the ultimate, and sort of matches Heidi Klum’s flowy cleavage number. Tituss Burgess is doing good in this gilded tuxedo jacket.

Silver is always a strong tack on a carpet, and here are four ways to do it: Madeline Brewer kept a traditional silhouette but added an edge with unusual cut-outs and embellishment; Regina King did it in a floral, revealing taffeta with pop-art star earrings; Susan Kelechi Watson is a fancy wedding cake; Tracee Ellis Ross, style icon 4-eva, knows that an ostrich feather is always a freakin’ good time!

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Of these SNL people, I got to give it up the most to Pete Davidson, not too-serious in a suit and Converse, and Aidy Bryant, whose ‘60s party frock is equally fun.

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Jessica Biel’s dress is like sherbet but I’m really hoping her hair does not connote the return of the poofy bang because... nah. Michelle Pfieffer is demure in black lace and Uzo Aduba is a disco party. Yara Shahidi is yet again winning in a lovely embellished princesa look.

Hues are the news. Kate McKinnon and Mandy Moore did straight-up black-and-white drama, while Rachel Bloom did a formal version of an LBD. Kathryn Hahn’s dotty shift is cute!

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Ariel Winter, America’s spokesperson for dressing however the hell you want, dressed however the hell she wanted in a two-slit gown that doubles as a loincloth. Do you, Ariel! Ellie Kemper’s navy sequins are cute, but I’m crazy for the asymmetry of Jenifer Lee’s cape vest and front-slit pants, as well as Judith Light’s neckline.

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Elisabeth Moss and Nicole Kidman both look like variations on ‘50s Barbie, while Shannon Purser is dressed for 1988 prom, which is fitting because, you know, she’s Barb. Zoe Kravitz’s peacocking gown is typically her, fancy and interesting.

Gina Rodriguez is a siren in long-sleeve lace, and Rashida Jones is demure and twee as ever in grecian lavender. Reese Witherspoon’s blue tux dress is fine, while Viola Davis fares way better in orange sherbet!

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Claire Foy and Pamela Adlon are pants, while Neve Campbell went for flapper fringe. Now that that’s out of the way let’s talk about how fantastic Leslie Jones looks? Bless her diamond shine in what is surely Christian Siriano because she is loyal.

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Debra Messing matched her hair to her dress! Innovative. Emmy Rossum’s a dream in a twinkle-twinkle-little-star gown, though Laura Dern might have missed it with this busy look. Shailene Woodley looks comfortable in drapey velvet, in a forest hue that symbolizes the place she probably loves to be the most.

Evan Rachel Wood said on E! she worked with Jeremy Scott for Moschino to make this suit, which you can tell because what is that drape? Priyanka Chopra could wear a freaking paper bag and look great; same for Thandie Newton, who went for simplicity and a dusty rose.

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Allison Janney’s lace thing is fine; Gillian Anderson is clearly a person who went through a goth phase; Sarah Paulson is wearing phresh-off-the-runway Carolina Herrera, do that! Susan Sarandon always wears this silhouette and it works for her.

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Jessica Lange and Julia Louis-Dreyfus look royal in ivy embellishments; Samira Wiley’s regal in a cut-out; Vanessa Kirby’s wearing the evening equivalent of a cupcake.

Chrissy Metz’s navy-grey dress has a pretty pearl embellishment up top; they should recast The Crown with Gabrielle Union in that queenly gown; Mackenzie Davis and Gugu Mbatha-Raw look great in complimentary lime greens; Tracey Ullman wearing a stole! I love a stole!