Everyone's Least Favorite Host Is Back

Illustration for article titled Everyones Least Favorite Host Is Back
Image: Tasos Katopodis (Getty Images)

Remember Meghan McCain? The daytime TV tyrant has enjoyed a blissful maternity leave following the birth of her daughter, Liberty Sage. But our nationwide vacation from the conservative darling—and daughter of... oh hmm who was it again? She brings it up so rarely I just can’t recall—has ended. On January 4th, McCain will resume her post as the only host of The View to love a  leopard print more than the most ardent Chico’s customer. Congratulations, I guess?

McCain announced the news on Twitter earlier this week:

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Tipsters in orbit around McCain told People she has “[cherished] her time with Liberty while on maternity leave.” And everyone else has cherished that time as well, considering it kept the political heiress off the airwaves.

Anyway, with McCain rapidly approaching a return to ABC studios, I’d like to take just a few predictions on what viewers can expect in the early months of 2021: There will be lots of diatribes about her (dead) dad every time Whoopi Goldberg tries to talk about, like, shampoo or something. She will have monologues about how she is the good kind of Republican, coupled with absurd phrases, like “My friend, Joe Biden.” There will be an interview with one of the gremlins that run The Lincoln Project, and calls to the audience to boo her, because she enjoys it, all while wearing garish floral wrap dresses. Most importantly, she will pick random fights with Joy Behar about how she is the real victim every time someone is rude to President Biden, assuming the coup falls through.

To McCain: I’d say I missed you, but I obviously didn’t. Welcome back to TV, bitch.

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DISCUSSION

She definitely voted for Trump, right?