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New York Fashion Week has barely arrived yet it already wants to kill you with cynicism, bad irony, and an abiding/untenable love of the year 1998. Spring/Summer 2018, please get out of my mentions. Shit is absurd!

Tom Ford wants you to dress like Grace Jones, if she wore less clothes! Fashion, I’m begging you, end the high-waisted bodysuit-over-pants trend IMMEDIATELY. This is the most egregious violation I’ve seen thus far, and it makes sense that it comes from the man who filmed Nocturnal Animals and whose idea of sexiness is like, basically, a freakin knife.

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Heidi Klum showed her Esmara by Heidi Klum Lidl presentation in a setting that looks like shopping in a grocery store as interior-designed by Buzzfeed, in hell.

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FASHION! IT’S SO FUN!

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This is Brooke Candy’s look now, as seen frowing at the VFILES show.. I guess the Marie Antoinette wig is better than that time she had box braids? But like... it’s still... a lot.

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Normally I really like the designers selected by VFILES, but did we really need this? I don’t know. I guess we didn’t NOT not need it. Shout out to knitting! I can’t take it anymore!