Frozen II Is Coming to Rescue Parents from Their Kids' Current Obsessions

Illustration for article titled iFrozen II /iIs Coming to Rescue Parents from Their Kids Current Obsessions

Disney has just debuted the trailer for Frozen II. This is wonderful news for me, a parent who is absolutely desperate for her child to get into something with an actual plot, as opposed to Little Baby Bum, which is basically MTV for nursery rhymes.

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Any ambivalence I ever felt about Disney movies has vanished. I am begging Elsa—save me.

Frozen II is a wholly unnecessary project, but I no longer evaluate animated movies according to objective artistic criteria. I now have only two criteria: Does it have a story, and is there any chance this will finally be the feature film that finally catches my kid’s attention? Judging from the trailer, the movie involves some sort of backstory about Elsa’s powers and a quest of some sort. Perfect, that’s enough plot for someone who is so desperate for literally any narrative that I have recently become obsessed with a specific Little Baby Bum version of “Let’s Drive in the Car,” in which one of the cartoon character changes cars twice in the desert. Why is he changing cars in the desert? Did he murder someone? I am convinced that he did.

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Of course, as soon as my kid actually becomes obsessed with Frozen and I am stuck listening to “Let It Go” for the 9 millionth time, I will curse the name of Walt Disney. But parenting is taking one problem at a time. I am desperate. Please, bring on the Frozen II.

Senior Editor, Attic Haunter, Jezebel

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DISCUSSION

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I’ve never understood the criticism of a piece of entertainment as “wholly unnecessary.” I mean, the first Frozen movie wasn’t “necessary,” in any meaningful sense of the word. I think this new approach of yours—evaluating entertainment based on its entertainment value rather than necessity—is a better approach.