Westworld’s return last Sunday has, typically, raised more questions than it answered. Last season, our heroes Delores (Evan Rachel Wood) and Maeve (Thandie Newton) went out by ransacking the island that had imprisoned them and massacring a large majority of their human captors, only to escape to the mainland (Delores) or end up somewhere in the Sublime (Maeve). Now, at the beginning of Season 3, Delores is rampaging the human world, committing espionage for her own ends by dating a dorky tech heir and replacing high-placed Incite guys with hosts after murking out their human counterparts.

In the second episode, Maeve uses her superpower perception skills to hack herself out of the simulation, a gift that I’d love to have at any given time, while Bernard (Jeffrey Wright) ventures back to Westworld to figure out what the fuck is going on with his own code, and why he seems to have two personalities inside him. There, he links up with Stubbs (played by the third Hemsworth) and plugs himself into the mainframe—but not before viewers are subjected to the absolute corniest easter egg HBO has ever delivered: A cameo from Game of Thrones showrunners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss as soon-to-be-laid-off tech workers, working on GoT’s dragon Drogon in the sector we know is Medieval World. Honestly: Reddit just ate itself, and maybe the simulation is us.

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In this week’s Westworld Conspiracy Corner, I attempt to bring you my worst theories from an actual corner during self-isolation, but mostly just end up talking shit.

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