Happy Birthday to Adele, Who Refuses to Be Sad

Image: via Getty

Today is Adele’s 31st birthday, and even though birthdays are for existential grief and alcohol poisoning, Adele will not succumb to the requisite sadness.

The singer, who recently announced her separation from husband Simon Konecki, put up an Instagram post on Sunday celebrating the arrival of her new year. “This is 31...thank fucking god,” she wrote in the caption. “31 is going to be a big ol’ year and I’m going to spend it all on myself.”

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In her post, Adele conceded that 30 was difficult—“30 tried me so hard but I’m owning it and trying my hardest to lean in to it all,” she wrote—but that does not mean her next album will be a compilation of heartbreak ballads or odes to Botox. “Bunch of fucking savages, 30 will be a drum n bass record to spite you,” she wrote. 

I’m not sure whom specifically she intends to spite, since I would listen to the shit out of an upbeat Adele record, but either way, it sounds like we’re getting a 30 soon, and it will be BOUNCY.

Anyway, happiest of birthdays to Adele—may her multiple Grammy awards, cute baby, and perfect cat eye have a very nice year, and may 30's eventual first single get overplayed far less than “Hello,” a good song ruined by the radio and my Spotify algorithm.

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