Hats—ever heard of them?
I hadn’t, until recently. I assumed caps were for professional baseball players and the bald—a smart assumption, but a wrong one. Baseball caps—or, as WhoWhatWear called them, “Dad Hats,” (they already have a name, though)—are fairly simple garments. Sections of cloth meet at the top of your head to form kind of a bucket shape (this is what you wear), then, harder cardboard (or something) juts out from one part to form something that’s like a visor, and that goes over your eyes.
It’s like a freaking umbrella for your face! And what’s more, you don’t even have to hold onto a pole.
My whole life I’ve lived with men. This means that I have very little feminine independence—I have never left used tampons strewn across my bedroom floor like they do in Sex in the City, never had the opportunity—but this does mean that I’ve been able to safely experiment with men’s ball caps without any sort of financial investment. Lucky for me.
Well, after years of experimentation, I can confidently say: caps are in—and it’s time for us women to invest in our own, for feminism. They are good for protecting your face and scalp from the sun (it’s an increasingly dangerous ball of fire, if you haven’t heard); they are good for looking like an undercover celebrity while at a sports game, picnic, or outdoor event; they are good for repping whatever cause you feel in the mood to rep—and better yet, it doesn’t even have to be baseball related.
A quick experiment: think of a phrase that’s important to you. “Extra cheese,” is what I just thought of. Or, this emoji: 😂. Now, think of putting that on a hat. Perfect style.
Caps, the new trend for Summer 2017. You heard it here first.