High-Tech Jewelry Looks Like Mechanical Insects Creepy Crawling All Over Your Boobs

Picture this: You encounter a stylish woman, note her chunky, futuristic jewelry, look away, and look back, and notice that what you thought was a necklace is actually three beetle-like machines creeping around her décolletage. Obviously, you need some of this Blade Runner shit in your life immediately.


The Verge reports that last year, researchers at MIT and Stanford debuted little wearable robots that could crawl over clothing via magnets. The idea seemed weird, clunky, and silly. But they’ve experimented a little more and they’re back with “Project Kino,” which are fashion robots, which is a whole different thing! Now it looks like prototype costuming for an adaptation of the Culture novels that is entirely too expensive to film! Lay it on me, TechCrunch!

“We’re thinking of wearables as a personal assistant,” team member Cindy Hsin-Liu Kao told TechCrunch. “We think in the future, when they can have a brain of their own, they can learn your habits, learn your professional style, and when they get smaller, they can blend into the things you wear.”

“Their current size is certainly a hindrance, and most of the applications seem to be ornamental. Sure, these might be cool in a runway presentation, but do we need clunky robotic crawlies to show off the next time we attend a dinner party?” asks the Verge. Fuck yes, we do.

Senior Editor, Attic Haunter, Jezebel


Freedom Cow

I want one to vacuum stray crumbs and clean spots on me.