How Will They Make the Real Dogs Kiss?

Illustration for article titled How Will They Make the Real Dogs Kiss?
Screenshot: Lady and the Tramp/Disney

As someone completely overwhelmed by The Lion King live-action remake press cycle, I elected to remove myself from any future conversation relating to Disney’s nostalgia-based content creation plan. That was before I saw People’s exclusive photos of the Lady and the Tramp live-action remake and spit out my coffee because the images are so aggressively funny.

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Justin Theroux will voice Tramp, portrayed “by a rescue dog with soulful eyes named Monte,” according to People. Tessa Thompson is Lady, “portrayed in the remake by a talented Cocker Spaniel named Rose.” Sam Elliot is Trusty, “the wise bloodhound with a lost sense of smell,” because of course he is, and Janelle Monáe is Peg, “a fluffy pooch.” I cannot fucking wait.

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But because I’m an old woman with old woman concerns (such as, how do I acquire Megan Thee Stallion’s knee strength?) my memory of Lady and the Tramp, the 1955 animated classic, is limited to the pivotal scene in which Lady and Tramp go on a date like human people. They eat spaghetti like you and me, they share meatballs by ushering them from one side of the plate to another with their snouts like you and me, and they smooch with the guidance of a long noodle, just like you and me. But in a live-action remake, how will Disney get the dogs to behave accordingly? How will they make real dogs kiss?

A few suggestions:

  • Peanut Butter (con: it might make it look like they’re making out too hard)
  • Dog treats (con: same as above)
  • Digital Fur Technology
  • Animation?
  • ...That’s all I got.

The Lady and the Tramp remake will premiere November 12 on Disney’s new streaming service Disney+.

Please look at the photos of the dog actors here.

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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DISCUSSION

Jerry-Netherland
Jerry-Netherland

I’m in favor of anything that brings a new generation of fans to the songs of the late great Miss Peggy Lee, singer, songwriter and consummate arranger. Worth noting that every songriter today owes her a debt because of this specific score.

The original film with songs by Peggy Lee was released in 1955 (before home video distribution was a concept), and in 1987, when Disney released Lady & The Tramp on video, they didn’t pay her any royalties (the video sold millions of copies). She sued Disney in a case that dragged on for years - and crafted her lawsuit to benefit other songwriters. She was very rich at that point, so it wasn’t especially about the money for herself; she wanted this to set precedent for other songwriters to collect what was due them from home film sales. She won, and songrwriters have been benefiting ever since.

Also, if I were to pick any of the female singers today to cover her score, it would be Janelle Monae! Perfect choice (Miss Peggy Lee would approve)

Here is a great 1987 interview with Miss Lee from when the video was being released (before she filed suit):