If There Is a God, Harry Styles Will Portray Prince Eric in The Little Mermaid Live-Action Remake

Harry Styles is in talks to play Prince Eric in the forthcoming Disney live-action remake of The Little Mermaid, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Styles would (ideally) portray the bright-eyed love interest of Halle Bailey’s Ariel, one-half of the R&B-pop duo Chloe x Halle and one of the most inspired casting decisions I’ve heard in a minute. If he doesn’t get the role, I… don’t know what I will do, but it won’t be pretty. He’s already not going to play Elvis Presley in the Baz Luhrmann-directed biopic about the King of Rock and Roll, so what the hell else is next after Dunkirk? My dumb heart can only take so much.

One of my first crushes ever was Prince Eric. Then Harry Styles became my boyfriend. Now, they have the opportunity to become one and the same. I am not alone when I say: Do you know how many basic bitches in their 20s will shell out $20 to see this movie opening weekend? All of us. Every single one. Come on, Disney, do the right thing. “Kiss the Girl” is essentially One Direction’s “Kiss You,” anyway.

And before you ask: I’ve already decided Halle and Harry’s ship name is Halle.