I’ll get right to it: T.I.—the rapper who entered the indelible lines “Bring ‘em out, bring ‘em out” into history—has been nominated for a Tony Award for his song on The SpongeBob SquarePants Musical. Apparently, everyone who’s anyone had a song on the Broadway musical soundtrack, which is nominated for Best Original Score (Music and/or Lyrics) Written for the Theatre. That means all these folks are nominated for a Tony: John Legend, Sara Bareilles, Cyndi Lauper, Panic! at the Disco (what?!), The Flaming Lips—I could go on, but my head is starting to hurt.
But I want to talk about T.I. His song, “When The Going Gets Tough,” is indeed, a rap song of sorts, and I know you’re asking: Which SpongeBob character is most likely to perform a rap song in the Broadway version of the children’s TV show? I have the answer, and it’s not that surprising: PLANKTON (or rather Nick Blaemire, who plays Plankton in the musical). In the song, Plankton asks Karen—true fans will remember she is Plankton’s computer wife at the Chum Bucket—to provide a beat and then he spits some bars about getting the heck out of dodge when things get too real.
Plankton, I respect that. (I have not seen the musical, but from what I can tell listening to the song on Spotify, SpongeBob intervenes midway through the song and begs Plankton to stick around—which, back off buddy, everyone has their limits.)
The whole thing makes me wanna either laugh or put my head down—I can’t tell. I can only share what I know: The SpongeBob musical freaking swept the Tony Award nominations, and T.I. played a small role in that. Or maybe, a large role. Have a listen for yourself and decide.
Update: As some of you pointed out in the comments, true fans will remember Karen is Plankton’s computer wife. A previous version of this post misidentified her as his virtual assistant. I regret the error, but I ask you: Do Plankton and Karen’s marital relations not mirror that of someone and their Alexa? Food for thought.