I'm Just a Used Condom Fluttering in the Wind on The Bachelor

Illustration for article titled I'm Just a Used Condom Fluttering in the Wind on The Bachelor
Screenshot: ABC

Sex happens. I do it, other people do it. Even people on television do it! Perhaps some of those most acquainted with humanity’s oldest pastime are contestants on The Bachelor’s many franchises, who arrive at palatial mansions each year, hot and horny and ready to fuck whoever is put in front of them—unless he is a self-described dweeb virgin, I guess. With all those sex juices flying around, it’s no wonder that the byproducts of intercourse would litter the filming location, indiscriminately strewn about for whichever P.A. to pick up in their hazmat suit. Like used condoms in trees!

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Maggie Hardy Knox, CEO and owner of the Nemacolin resort in Pennsylvania, has revealed that sex has happened in spades this season on The Bachelor. “We actually found a used condom in the tree branch,” she told Page Six. As to her thoughts on cleaning up the dregs of horny time for the show’s many contestants, she simply said that “we are there to make sure all of our guests are happy all the time,” even if that means they want to climb up trees and fuck like squirrels on national television.

Season 25 is also a historic moment for the franchise, which, after almost two decades of blinding whiteness, has brought on the first black bachelor ever, Matt James. He’s actually hot, another first in Bachelor lead history, and that seems to be a big win for viewers and the many fawning women at his feet. So much so, in fact, that they are—and I cannot stress this enough—literally having sex in trees.

DISCUSSION

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For the exhaust note

Still have never watched an episode but now I know that this year's bachelor is a dirty litterer