Image: IMDb/Warner Bros./Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Pictures

Well, is he?!

Bradley Cooper recently told Variety that if “The Shallow” is nominated for an Academy Award (which it definitely will be, have you even heard it, my god), he is planning a vaguely unusual performance:

And if “Shallow” is nominated for an Oscar for best song, Gaga says she’ll perform it at the ceremony. “One hundred percent,” she says. In fact, Cooper reveals that he has plans to sing the duet live with Gaga. “We talked about that actually, because I’m such a maniac,” Cooper says. “I started texting her the whole pitch of how we should do it. So we’ll see. There might be a cool, unorthodox way we could perform it.”

Of course, fans of the film knew that “unorthodox” could only mean one thing... pee.

Pee. As in, urine.

Cooper could possibly pee onstage as an homage to the scene where SPOILER his character Jackson Maine accidentally, drunkenly pees onstage at the Grammys in A Star Is Born while Ally (Lady Gaga) is accepting her award. Given how married Cooper is to this role, and the lengths he has gone to hone his craft and methodology for this film, you’d think he’d want to pull out all the stops to honor Jackson. This man is always acting. Always!

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So what’s it gonna be? Is Cooper gonna pee? Jezebel has reached out to the Academy Awards and Bradley Cooper for comment on whether the pee will happen and, frankly, if it would even be allowed.

Weirder things have happened, after all.