When you hear the words “nine” and “11” said in succession do you think “Whoopi Goldberg in a wig that sits back and high, much like a ski cap she lazily tossed on for an unseasonably warm winter day,” or “camp queen Gina Gershon,” or “Winning!” because you still associate Charlie Sheen with that prolonged meltdown he had a few years ago, or a narrative that recalls Devil—the M. Night Shyamalan-produced 2010 flick in which a gaggle of people, one of whom is Satan, sweat it out in an elevator? If any of these things come to mind, well, first of all, who the hell are you??? And secondly, you’re in luck: 9/11 is in theaters September 8, and it contains all of those things. It’s directed by Martin Guigui, whose previous credits include National Lampoon’s Cattle Call and My X-Girlfriend’s Wedding Reception, starring former teen pop queen Deborah (née Debbie) Gibson.

If you’re merely interested in watching the planes hitting the Twin Towers, well, that footage is in there, too.