It Looks Like Honey Boo Boo's 15 Minutes Have Been Renewed Yet Again

Illustration for article titled It Looks Like Honey Boo Boo's 15 Minutes Have Been Renewed Yet Again
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After the nuclear holocaust, they say, all that will be left are cockroaches and Cher. I actually don’t know if they say that, but I did hear Cher once saying on television that they say that. So at the very least, Cher says that. But what would Cher say about the child sometimes known as Honey Boo Boo joining her and her buggy brethren? It could happen.


The child (real name: Alana Thompson) has now been a key feature of no fewer than three reality shows over the past seven years, including the current one that her family landed on WEtv after what once looked like a career-destroying reunion between Thompson’s mother June Shannon and the ex-boyfriend who went to prison for molesting her daughter. Reportedly, Thompson is joining another.

The Blast reports that Thompson will compete on the forthcoming Dancing with the Stars season featuring kids, which they’re calling Dancing With the Stars Junior. ABC has confirmed neither the casting nor the angle of the upcoming season, but the Blast nonetheless says:

According to our sources, Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson has been in Los Angeles for the past week training for the new season of the show. We’re told she’s been seen going in and out of practice and is taking it very seriously.

Our sources say Mama June is in town as well to help Honey Boo Boo get ready for the show.

What if this family just...never goes away? It could happen.

Some Pig. Terrific. Radiant. Humble.


So much to unpack here. Wow. Where to begin. How about here:


The idea that this family continues to be rewarded for its matriarch’s vile, poisonous behavior is akin to the paralyzing rage I feel that Donald Trump is president.

Let’s not forget that they’re learning FUCKALL from their mistakes, as Alanna is well past the point of obesity and is physically suffering. Her next oldest sister had a baby at 15. (not counting her oldest sister, who also had one at 16)

Putting Alanna on a fucking NATIONALLY TELEVISED DANCING COMPETITION is both dangerous and cruel. She is not healthy enough for this and her mother is a fucking twat for allowing it (all in the name of the Honey Boo Boo brand, I guess).

Fuck these people and fuck literally everyone who gives them exposure.

And yes, I say that as someone who totally bought into the Honey Boo Boo zeitgeist as soon as it happened. For that I am sorry.