Simple Plan, a band of French-Canadian thirtysomethings best known for a song featuring Mark Hoppus and a debut album titled around a ball joke, has released a song with 40-year-old Correll Haynes Jr. (née Nelly), entitled “I Don’t Want to Go To Bed.” What a time to forget why any of us are alive in the first place!


The song has Maroon 5 castoff vibes, and the first time I listened to it, I couldn’t tell which verse was Nelly. The video, which is Baywatch-themed, makes everything clearer. “Oh, there’s Nelly,” I said to myself, when Nelly appeared on the screen.

“Where am I?” he asks.

“You’re with me, brah,” says Pierre Bouvier.


“You’re with us,” say the babes.


It’s hard for me to really put these thematic pieces together—if you’re on the beach, you won’t want to go to bed, because of all of the babes, or something—but I assume, in the end, that this video is a subversive anti-PSA, questioning the well-known adage that Simple Plan saves lives.


David Hasselhoff appears at the end.

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