I have never read Ann Patchett’s 2001 novel Bel Canto, and after seeing the trailer for its upcoming better-late-than-never film adaptation starring Julianne Moore and Ken Watanabe, I’ve decided that I never will.

How could reading about an American opera singer who is held hostage by terrorists alongside a few South American politicians and an adoring Japanese businessman be more satisfying than watching and listening to Julianne Moore lip-syncing to the voice of National Medal of Arts-winning opera singer Renée Fleming as Ken Watanabe stares at her adoringly amid gunfire from sympathetic young terrorists who are also beguiled by her vocal artistry? I don’t think it could!

To make matters even more intriguing, the film was directed by Paul Wietz, who has one of the strangest filmographies of any working director. The dude started his career with the raunchy teen classic American Pie, moved on to the charming About a Boy, and ultimately made weird decisions like Little Fockers and the shockingly misguided American Dreamz. In short, I’m absolutely seeing this.