Kumail Nanjiani's Quest for Marvel-Sanctioned Muscles Seems Like an Utter Nightmare

Kumail Nanjiani is cute and funny. But that was not enough for the upcoming Marvel movie “The Eternals” so he went on a quest to be Chris Evans lite. It still seems like it was a nightmare.

Nanjiani’s trainer Grant Roberts told Page Six that a “custom process” was formulated for Nanjiani, who is 41 goddamn years old, that includes body scans. According to Roberts:

“My process is completely individualized and starts with the gathering of information. Current lifestyle, body composition tests, etc. I also have a 3D scanner that’s particularly useful for goal setting with the client — in this case Kumail — and strategizing the nutrition and training program with the primary focus in his case of increasing muscular size, dropping excess body fat and creating total body symmetry.”

Nanjiani “responded very quickly” to the first three months of training for both fat loss and muscle gain. “In Kumail’s case, you need ample amounts of all the essential nutrients with special focus on protein, water, healthy fats (primarily omega 3) and just enough carbs without spilling over,” Roberts told Page Six.

Nanjiani responded too well to the training, debuting a very jacked physique at Comic Con in July — pictured above, with unjacked Richard Madden. The comedian was “too big and too cut” so they shifted gears to create “a slightly smaller yet still lean and vascular version” of Nanjiani, according to Roberts.

But as camera time came, the pair adjusted further so Nanjiani could be “cut and vascular without losing muscle mass” on screen. I’m all for looking hotter, but Nanjiani was already good looking! It’s like when Aleksander Skarsgård got ripped for The Legend of Tarzan. It’s cool, I guess, but at what cost?

But this is the money quote from Roberts: “Sadly, Marvel didn’t want to pay to bring me over to London to continue our training and nutrition.”

It’s okay, Roberts. Marvel didn’t have the money for its best TV show The Runaways, either.