Let's Socially Distance From Shows About Social Distancing

Illustration for article titled Let's Socially Distance From Shows About Social Distancing
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Jenji Kohan, the creator of Orange Is the New Black, is making a new anthology series titled Social Distance for Netflix, according to IndieWire.


In a statement released on Twitter, the show’s executive producers described the project as an attempt to “reflect a new bizarre, bewildering reality” that everyone has been living since the onset of covid-19. The series will be produced virtually, and the cast, which has not yet been announced, will film themselves while Kohan and her team produce from their respective homes. Their goal is to not only observe social distancing protocol but to highlight the “unique, personal, deeply human stories that illustrate how we are living apart, together.” I cannot think of anything I want to watch less, other than maybe a TV singalong.

Reflecting a bizarre reality is a lovely idea, in theory, and maybe when the world is on the other side of this pandemic Kohan can produce an Oscar-winning epic drama about these special times. But right now, there’s no indication of how long social distancing will continue (and no release date has been set for the show). People want to escape their homes, their kids, and their partners. Make more shows about the outdoors! And tell people what’s going on out there.


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My grandfather was in WW2, if you’ve ever seen footage of those boats that drove right up to the beach and let the soldiers off, he drove those*. Anyway, near where we live there is a WW2 memorial with this gigantic battleship along with two other very impressive looking ships, and everyone from around here has gone on field trips to it, or just done the tour. It’s really cool. I remember in the 4th grade coming back from my field trip and I asked him if he had ever gone on the battleship, and he said no. I had asked my mom later why, and she said that he couldn’t stand any reminder of the war, he would always say, “Living through it was enough”.

Now, I’m not comparing this pandemic with actually being forced to go to war and day in and day out worrying about being shot, captured, tortured, etc. BUT, for a lot of people this has been hell. I can now truly see his point. I know movies and documentaries and all this stuff will be produced, and right now I can very much say that I will have ZERO interest in watching anything about it. I pray for the day I never hear the phrase“Social distancing” again. I hope Zoom changes their name once this is over because I will only associate it with germs and isolation. I can’t wait to go one day without smelling hand sanitizer. I really will love the day I go to the supermarket and I don’t automatically look to see if there is toilet paper in stock.

*(Sidenote: My grandfather went from a 19 year old firefighter to literally driving those boats two months later, which I always found astounding. It was like, Hey, say goodbye to your new wife, get in this van and we are shipping you off and training you to do this and sorry not sorry you can’t say no. I thought of that recently when my brother in law was saying that he’s pissed about being forced to wear a mask in public because it infringes on his civil rights. I wanted to Zoom punch him. Really, very, and extremely hard.)