Do you hear the rumbling underfoot? That’s the sound of a thousand stylists in chunky sneakers rushing around to various showrooms in Los Angeles, yelling on the phone and battling for supremacy on the awards circuit red carpet deathmatch tournament, which climaxes in two weeks at the 92nd Annual Academy Awards. Luckily, Jezebel is here to explain all the movies in Oscar contention.

The cinematography that went into making 1917 was technically exquisite and lends the film the look of a single, unbroken take. Of course, hearing the magic words “single take,” Academy voters ostensibly believed that the film, which takes place over a period of at least 24 hours, was filmed from front to back in one continuous roll of film. How do I know this? Well, besides the technical achievement, there wasn’t much else happening in the claustrophobic 119 minutes. It’s a war movie! People get blown up, and some people don’t get blown up. The ghosts of all the other war movies clutter the margins of the film and remind you that this is not the first time the Academy has nominated a movie that looked and felt exactly like this. Unfortunately, it will probably not be the last time either!

Either way, I’m here to help, for those who don’t have the stomach (or patience) for exploding rats, aerial battles, rotting corpses, and Benedict Cumberbatch!

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Producer: Lisa Fischer, Senior Producer: Jennifer Perry, Editor: Michael Pasquariello

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