Come March 5, a flick will vie with I Know Who Killed Me for the position as camp crown jewel in the illustrious acting career of Lindsay Lohan. Among the Shadows, directed by Tiago Mesquita (who produced a bunch of a movies you haven’t seen) is about... I don’t know. Werewolves? I can’t really focus on anything because of several shots that Lohan appears to have filmed in front of a green screen, at least one of which seems to be devoid of special effects, thus she’s green-screened for no discernible reason a la Mariah Carey in the Hallmark movie she directed, A Christmas Melody.
It’s that one.
But also there’s this:
And then there is this, which I don’t think is green screened but is quite notable:
The text of the Among the Shadows trailer describes what’s happening in these words: “A ROGUE PACK...A POWERFUL TARGET...A LONE WOLF...THE HUNT IS ON...DARKNESS...WILL...RISE...AMONG THE SHADOWS.” Bloody Disgusting posted this synopsis:
“Kristy Wolfe (Charlotte Beckett) is a Brussels private eye descended from werewolves who must go to work when her uncle Harry Goldtsone is murdered in a politically-motivated attack. Patricia Sherman (Lindsay Lohan), the wife of European Federation President Richard Sherman, hires Wolfe to investigate Goldstone’s killing, as he was her husband’s campaign manager. Wolfe finds bodies falling all over city and must use her innate instincts to unravel the case and stay alive long enough unmask the conspiracy.”
I will 100 percent watch this and report back. I consider it my duty.