Much like the fiery, hot breath of a dragon, this shit is HEATING UP.
Now that we’ve wiggled our way into the semifinals of this electrifying journey to find out which mythical creature will finally knock the slippery, beautiful mermaid off her perch, the competition is getting serious. Yesterday’s results are in—here’s where we stand.
In the Creature divison, the smarmy Ssssssnake (1) finally fell to the Kelpie (9), proving the theory that horse girls will eventually rule us all. We’re so happy that Succubi (5) overtook Fiona the Hippo (13) even though we love Fiona and always will. The Sphinx (6) is more mysterious and slightly cooler than a Narwhal (14), so I’m not surprised that it won! And, in one of the closest match-ups of this very scientific bracket, the Harpy (2) squeaked past the Selkie (7).
No huge upsets n the Fairy Tale division either, though personally, we’re saddened that the Fairy (1) knocked the cloven Satyr (9) out of the running. Perish the thought of wearing green velvet year round—Elves (4) beat Leprechauns (12) by a fairly wide margin. The Frog Princess’s (14) slime-gore aesthetic was no match for that of the Siren (6), who easily won her round. And the holiday classic Gingerbread Woman (10) finally crumbled, under the weight of the sexy Nymph (2).
Ahh! Real monsters! In yet another very close race, Baba Yaga (1), my truest form, defeated the mighty Gorgon (8). A Mummy (4) didn’t stand a chance against the Babadook (12), queer icon and physical manifestation of grief. Demons (11) beat out Vampires (3) and in the saddest goodbye we will ever say in this bracket, we must bid adieu to the Lady Gremlin (15) because the fearsome Dragon (10) beat her fair and square.
Onward to our Miscellaneous category, the kitchen-junk drawer of beauty icons. Dinosaur (9) fell to the mighty Cyborg (1) and the latter’s cousin, a Robot (4) beat out Golem (12). I was sure that La Llorona (6) would lose against the Alien (3), but we’re pleased to inform you that she did not. And! You’d all rather be a freakin’ Goddess (7) rather than a weak-ass Ghost (2) which fills my heart with joy and laughter.
For the Creature Division, we have the seahorse-human Kelpie (9) against the evil and frankly terrifying Succubus (5).
Hmm, this is interesting, but it’s really about whether or not you want to be able to fly: Sphinx (6) or Harpy (2)?
In the Fairy Tale Division, we have two match-ups that feel pretty similar.
The Fairy (1) isn’t really an Elf (4), but they’re kind of the same—remember, one can fly, so keep that in mind.
This head-to-head battle is sexy but in two very different ways: Siren (6) vs Nymph (2).
Moving right along to the Monsters Divison, shit is starting to get real and serious and TOUGH.
Both Baba Yaga (1) and the Babadook (5) are each beloved characters in their own right, but there can only be one winner, here; would you rather be a monster that eats worms and loves top hats or does BabYags’s BoBo aesthetic appeal to you more?
A Dragon (11) is covered in scales and again, breathes fire, but a Demon (10) lives somewhere very warm. Choices!
And! For our Miscellaneous Category, we have two battles that are also pretty tough.
Deciding between a Robot (4) and a Cyborg (1) is painful, but we have faith that you can do it.
And finally, would you rather cultivate a sad girl La Llorona (6) aesthetic or opt for that Instagram-story-Goddess (7) filter steez?
Vote! Vote! And we’ll return tomorrow.