Tina Fey, Aidy Bryant, and Kate McKinnon have tapped into your subconscious and know that you already think they’re your real-life best friends. Their sketch on Saturday Night Live in which they impersonate a HAIM—which was cruelly cut for time—continues the fantasy by casting them as ride-or-dies who will stop at NO LENGTHS to avenge whatever pain the other is going through, as long as they can do it through song.
“My words are my knife,” sings McKinnon, explaining the timeless art of trash-talking frenemies, ex-boyfriends, or people you barely know just to make your friend feel better. (“My knife, my knife!” harmonize Bryant and Fey, like a long-haired, angelic choir.) “Said I’m gonna cut deep...” she continues. Dramatic pause. “I’m gonna rip up her whole life!” Fey, Bryant, and McKinnon all rock middle parts, have that whole “daughters of Southern California” look down, and randomly ad-lib in the middle of their songs, just like the real Haim.
Nothing is safe from Fake Haim’s wrath: Not your Instagram posts, not your looks, not even your mom. When Nicki Minaj pops in and Aidy Bryant starts to tell her what’s wrong, Minaj doesn’t hesitate to go in: “Oh girl, I don’t even know who it is!” Minaj’s rap is hilarious and made me generally miss her. “You low-key my wife/You my bitch for life.” TELL ’EM!!!