One Direction Is a Girl Group Now

Illustration for article titled One Direction Is a Girl Group Now
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On Tuesday, the world learned model Gigi Hadid and musician Zayn Malik were reportedly expecting their first child together. Today, there’s a gender reveal: according to TMZ, Hadid and Malik are allegedly expecting a girl. This is exciting news, because it means Malik is the third member of One Direction to become a dad, and the first to become a #GirlDad. As you surely recall, 1D’s Louis Tomlinson became the first father, when Freddie Reign Tomlinson was born in 2016. Liam Payne followed in 2016, when his then-girlfriend, singer Cheryl Cole, had Bear Grey Payne. Now that Hadid and Malik are looking at a future as parents, that can only mean one thing: One Direction is a girl group now. Or, at the very least, they will have created one. Here’s how I see it going down:

  • Unnamed Hadid-Malik baby, the mysterious one: She’s broody, but she’s got a falsetto like nobody’s business. Inevitably, she’ll be the first to leave the band, but her career will be eclipsed by the other fan favorite.
  • Raddix Madden, child of Cameron Diaz and Good Charlotte’s Benji Madden, the leader: The other fan favorite. Though girl groups are meant to be democratizing forces, just like boy bands, there’s always one who has the cheeky charisma to light up a room.
  • Birdie Mae Johnson, Jessica Simpson and footballer Eric Johnson’s kid, the cute one: She’s a sweetheart, and maybe she’ll break out an acoustic guitar for the ballads.
  • Freeya Carel Gellin, daughter of Orange Is the New Black’s Danielle Brooks, the responsible one: Consider her the Liam Payne of the group—every group needs an older sister time to hit those lower notes and keep the rest in check.
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See ya in a decade or two!

Senior Writer, Jezebel. My debut book, LARGER THAN LIFE: A History of Boy Bands, is out now.

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