Some people call Drew Scott the “hot Property Brother.” Other people call Jonathan Scott the “hot Property Brother.” The show’s biggest fans think they’re equally hot! But a special few, myself included, belong to a category of people who find these improbable reality stars and aspiring country singers impossible to tell apart and equally insufferable. Which one’s Drew? Which one’s Jonathan? I wish I knew, if only because it would be easier to point out the one who used to be a magician.
But I digress. Drew, pictured above on either the left or the right, married a woman named Linda Phan earlier this year. Their wedding was covered extensively by People. Jonathan, pictured above opposite whichever one is Drew, became single in April after splitting from a woman named Jacinta Kuznetsov. According to Drew, ABC asked him to be on a recent season of The Bachelor, but he declined.
“Jonathan has been pitched like, I think four times now, been approached to be the Bachelor. He don’t need that... Anyway, I think right now he’s just focusing on what we’re doing, the shows, we’re launching our first kids’ book next month, which is exciting. Eventually he’ll have time and then I’ll pawn him off for a dating show or something.”
According to my friend and former coworker Kate Dries, “They literally ask everyone.” (Author note: they have not asked me.) Infuriated by Drew’s statement, Dries added, “HE’S NOT SPECIAL.”
But let’s not get too upset, Kate! At least he didn’t accept. Can you imagine the hell we would enter if the Property Brothers appears on The Bachelor? Even though only one of them would technically participate, I presume they are a package deal. Jonathan would make out with all the ladies, and Drew would just sit beside them and watch. Perhaps he’d even provide live commentary! The entire thing would be tremendously upsetting, like a network TV version of Dogtooth.
So, thank you Jonathan, whichever one you are, for saying no four times in a row. My brain would not have been able to handle the GIFs and headlines and tweets and clips and text messages about your hunt for love. But I do have a question! Did they ask you four times since breaking things off with Kuznetsov this past spring, or were they being sinister and asking while you two were still dating? If you have a response, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.