Outlander: Scotland Never Looked So Good

Thank God, we’re back in Scotland.

As much as I enjoyed the elaborate costumes and occasional nipple jewelry of Paris, when I turned on Outlander this week and saw those alarmingly green hills, it felt like the show had properly returned. The whole episode was rich with dark colors you just want to wallow around in and touchable textures and patterns that shouldn’t have worked but did. I would especially like to shout out Jamie’s power clashing, piling that checkerboard coat on top of a a kilt and weirdly compelling brown vest.

Also this scarf that Jenny wore to yell at her brother for even considering going to ask their miserable old fucker of a grandfather for men to send to Bonnie Prince Charlie’s rebellion. (More on him in a second.)

Do you suppose Claire just tossed her entire Parisian wardrobe over the side of the boat the minute they sailed from La Havre? Because that scarf certainly did not come from la belle France. Distinct Cracker Barrel Home Collection vibes, in fact. (Not mad at it.)


It was sweltering all weekend in New York City and yet I’m staring at a woman wearing dozens of pounds of clothing and I feel nothing but cool breezes!


And finally, let’s appreciate Colum’s fur coat, with tweed.


While we’re on the subject, this week was a real parade of familiar faces, between Jenny and Colum and, of course, this bitch.


That bonnet isn’t fooling me, God, or anybody else! Claire will without a doubt regret her rapprochement with Laoghaire who, please note, still thinks it’s appropriate to go sniffing Jamie’s laundry. The smart thing would’ve been to fake make up with her and then avoid her like a pediatrician’s waiting room full of anti-vaxxers.

We also meet a new face, in the form of Jamie’s wretched grandfather, a weasel and a misogynist even by the standards of the 18th century, who tries to maneuver Jamie into giving up Lallybroch for his support in the Jacobite cause and doesn’t bat an eye at threatening to get somebody to rape Claire. Also, I cannot even imagine how rank his velvet jacket smells.


At least our protagonists are finally getting better at deception, with Jamie throwing around threats that his witchy wife will freeze any assailants’ dicks off and Claire full-on plagiarizing that seer’s vision just in time to save Lallybroch (though nearly getting stabbed in the process). Maybe they picked up a trick or two in France, after all.


When you’re forced to deal with yet more sexist bullshit but at least you don’t have to attend any more tedious teatime visits:


Until next week, here’s something to ponder: What if Claire and Jamie have already changed the past, i.e., what if the Jacobite rising would have just melted away without Jamie’s encouragement in Paris and their decision to pitch in once it started to look unavoidable? Just a thought!

Lead image courtesy Starz, other images via screencap.

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