Pentatonix Lands Their Second Number 1 Album, Proving My Spells Ineffective

Image via screengrab
Image via screengrab

Pentatonix, the improbably successful a cappella group responsible for one of the most embarrassing covers of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” ever recorded, have reached the top of the Billboard Top 200 Albums chart for the second time with their holiday release A Pentatonix Christmas. I know this because I read a press release containing the news. I am mad about this because it proves that none of my spells are working.


That the collection of overly passionate harmonies and throat work is “currently the 5th best-selling album of 2016" means the nights I spent staring at the album (which I keep propped on a hideous pedestal made from the bones of deer that died of what I’m told were natural causes) and repeating phrases meant to disband the group that roughly translate to “END THE SINGING, STOP THE VOICES,” have been a complete and total waste of my time.

I’ll dumping the bones in the trash tonight. Nothing can stop Pentatonix now.

Staff Writer, Jezebel | Man

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I’m all for people like this being famous on YouTube, but it’s just irresponsible for them to be allowed to be famous outside of that.