There are very few situations in life that are not made slightly worse by the addition of social media influencers: a fancy party; a funeral; standing in line at the DMV; fetching a coffee and a light snack. Yet somehow, RuPaul’s Drag Race is not one of them.
After last week’s startling non-elimination, there are still six queens in the running to become America’s Next Top Drag Superstar and unsurprisingly, Aquaria runs her mouth in uproarious complaint about the non-elimination. This event was not unprecedented, and it is a nice way to remind you all that regardless of how big and shiny Rupaul’s empire becomes, he is still in charge of this shit and don’t you ever forget it.
This week’s mini and maxi challenges are the tried and true makeovers—when RuPaul trots a group of non-drag queens through the workroom and tasks the contestants with making them over as their drag daughters. Previous iterations of this generally heartwarming exercise have included military vets, older gay men, DILFs, jocks, various members of the production staff, and grooms. Because 2018 is the darkest timeline, the queens are presented with a vast range of social media influencers upon which to work their magique.
As the winner of the mini-challenge, Eureka gets to pair the rest of her friends/enemies/sisters with the social media influencers on offer. I am sad and then also happy to say that I only know who two of these people are. Here are the pairings: Tyler Oakley goes with Monet; Chester Sea goes with Cracker; Kingsley goes with Aquaria; Raymond Braun goes with Asia; Kameron gets Anthony Padilla; and Eureka keeps friggin’ Frankie Grande for herself.
You know what happens next, surely—many people cannot walk in heels. Frankie Grande has absolutely enormous balls and struggles to confine them in the shaping short provided by his drag mother. Rupaul gives many words of encouragement, like a benevolent god, and then onward and upward to the runway, darling.
Like a magpie, Asia O’Hara’s daughter America gravitated towards a beautiful, glittery, sequined and feathered collage of a statement jacket that is so outlandish and breathtaking, which is stressful for Asia, because she must construct a jacket to match. They looked cute and I will take this jacket for myself, to be worn to every occasion under the sun.
Eufreka looks like Bianca Del Rio, and Eureka looks like herself, but I cannot deny that the family resemblance is clear. Also admirable is Eureka’s dedication to this slick and light meringue of a wig—a fun riff on Eureka’s boy hair, which is often styled in a petite swirl.
Perhaps the first week that I feel disappointment upon viewing Aquaria’s look—not because she didn’t look great, but because she did her daughter, Capricia Corn dirty by saving the best drags for herself.
I don’t know if Cracker’s look is an homage to Violet Chachki’s Hello Kitty drag—a hoop that she had to hold around her head, through which she bellowed “COME THRUUUUUUUU” during Katya and Kennedy Davenport’s iconic lip sync—but I don’t care either way? It’s beautiful and her daughter, Miz Cookie truly “opened the oatmeal container, pulled out all of the oats, and felt them individiually.” Nice work!
Look, I love Monet. I love that Monet put on a big wig. I love that Monet’s face looked so beautiful. I do not love that Monet and her daughter Short (as in Short Change. Get it?) trotted out in outfits that felt lacking compared to everyone else and I do NOT love that Monet’s reveal was like, nothing. I want Monet to step her pussy up, please! I beg.
Well, well, well, well, WELL—Kameron! It’s hard to get mad at lamé anything, and her drag daughter Kelli looks real cute. What’s interesting about Kameron is that her inner saboteur causes her to turn out very good, solid, and respectable drag, sans fireworks and with minor histrionics. She’s content to just sit in the corner, do her work, slay, go home, repeat. I’m surprised!
As always, a winner and two losers—Miz Cracker pulled through for the win, and my god, Kameron and Monet are in the bottom. This Lizzo song is a bop, Monet makes it funny, and Kameron, to her credit, holds her own. Unfortunately, somehow, Monet came up short (get it!) and one of our favorite queens was prematurely sent back to New York City—where we appreciate her.
Food for thought: There is no new episode next week, which gives everyone some space to breathe. Also—will there be a returning queen?? Who will come home? Vanjie? Monique? I’d welcome either in a heartbeat!! Monique will require some garments, custom or otherwise, no shade, and Vanjie, bless her, should just bring herself.