Somehow, a Fifth Pirates of the Caribbean Movie Is Happening

Two films into Pirates of the Caribbean, I stopped watching, figured there was no more story left and forgot about it. But it appears that the story kept going and Jack Sparrow somehow isn’t dead yet. Yo ho ho and a bottle of what-the-fuck? Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, out in May 2017, will be film number FIVE in this franchise for Johnny Depp and his drunken stumbling, scheming pirate protagonist.


In the trailer, a man with a strange face (Javier Bardem) wants to find Sparrow and it seems like he’s upset about something. According to Deadline:

The film is a family reunion of sorts, with Depp, as always in the role of Captain Jack Sparrow, and Geoffrey Rush, returning to play Barbossa, joined by Orlando Bloom as Will Turner for the first time since 2007’s At World’s End. Along for the voyage are Javier Bardem, Brenton Thwaites, and Kaya Scodelario, with the film seeing Sparrow on the hunt for the Trident of Poseidon, which gives its holder power over the seas.


Who, what, when, where, and is Keira Knightley still in this?

Culture Editor, Jezebel

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Did anyone even watch the three previous installments? Who the fuck is actually putting up money to make this shit happen?


Oh, it’s Jerry Bruckheimer. Someone needs to take his money away from him before he makes any more horrible decisions.


Too late, apparently there’s going to be a Beverly Hills Cop 4.