Do you hear the rumbling underfoot? That’s the sound of a thousand stylists in chunky sneakers rushing around to various showrooms in Los Angeles, yelling on the phone and battling for supremacy on the awards circuit red carpet deathmatch tournament, which climaxes in two weeks at the 92nd Annual Academy Awards. Luckily, Jezebel is here to explain all the movies in Oscar contention.

I have never lived in a home with a bunker. However, most of the Academy is pretty fucking rich, and live in homes big enough to house a bunker somewhere in their palatial depths. If you are a member of the Academy without a bunker, I suggest you rush-order a panic room. Why? Well, I suspect you’ll need somewhere to hide in the extremely low chance that anything other than Parasite wins Best Picture—like 1917!

Producer: Lisa Fischer, Senior Producer: Jennifer Perry, Editor: Olivia Akien

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